8.16.2014

Confident

Confident is #1 in a series: Stay Connected by following one or more of the networks at the end of this post.

Confident: Feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured. 


If you haven't noticed, I added my mantra to my blog header - Viable, Confident, and can still rock a look, so, So What to Twenty! Sometimes I feel like I should stick out my tongue in a child-like fashion after making this statement. Not that I believe that the mantra is childish. On the contrary, I believe that these words are very poignant for more seasoned women. I guess my wanting to stick out my tongue stems from the desire to taunt certain people for trying to make me feel otherwise. Have I told you I'm 48 years young?


In a world that constantly bombards us with images of beautiful and viable as a 20ish, waif-like girl woman, I have found that during this stage in my life, I have to dawn my boxing gloves, step into the ring, and fight for my confidence and viability even more so. Truth be told, it is sometimes quite difficult to have an enormous amount of confidence when every time you open a magazine or watch television your age group is cast as The Mother (don't get me wrong, being a mother brings me much joy), or The Dejected Wife. I, too, can sometimes feel defeated and unaccomplished. But by who's standards? One of my favorite romance novels was written by Nicholas Sparks and is called Nights in Rodanthe. I adored this book (which was later made into a movie) because the two lead characters were in the 40 to 50 age range. They met and fell in love in a mature, romantic way. And as we all know, Hollywood loves to give the mature male lead character a 20-something romantic interest. It was refreshing to see a women of a certain age represented as desirable, independent and strong. Though the end of the story is heartbreaking, it can also be celebrated. The two individuals, through their love for one another, were able to reconnect with areas in their past that allowed them to move forward successfully to their futures. This is where I am today.


With that being said, I find myself on a journey. Not a superficial journey that simply looks at clothing as an outward display of confidence. No, this journey is so much more deeper and relevant for the Glenda of today (and perhaps others who follow So What to Twenty!). I have found myself revolting against the rules, that we women, have just gone along with for ages. For one, you may have noticed the abundance of silver now on show on my head. I have decided to stop trying to look younger and look the age that I am. I am finished with the dye and have chosen to embrace my silver. There is a song written by the incomparable, India.Arie, called I Am Not My Hair that is so perfect for how I am feeling at this time in my life:
[Chorus]
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within


I have taken this significant step so that I can stop living my life through the expectations of others, which keep me living in the past. Why do we dye our hair? Is it to appear younger than we are, or is it a much deeper and complex issue? I believe the latter to be true. I enter this journey to find peace with myself so that I can move forward. I write this post, not as a fashion post, but a post that looks within. I have chosen to wear the simplest of pieces - a scarf tied on my arm that shows a rebellious spirit, creativity and individuality. A crinkled, strapless dress that doubles as a skirt. It forms with ease to my figure. It is uncomplicated, yet, it plays with my silver curls and demonstrates an inner boldness with its bright citrus contrast against the silver. Perhaps it makes a subtle statement on its own about its wearer...I may be seasoned, but I am seasoned with boldness and a zest for life{wink}

Today I Will:  
Discover My Inside Out Beauty
In my quiet times, I will quiet the outside interferences and enjoy my inner voice.
A perfect way to enjoy peace is by listening to this music:
 
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Photographs by Freddy

50 comments:

  1. I see the rebel within and I applaud you. I am still tinkering with dye because my hair grays at the temples and I do not like it. As you know I am already 62, still very viable and looking towards a bright future. Like you I am not my hair and certainly not old and frumpy. I love to see you prancing around in those fabulous outfits and not once did I look to see the color of your hair. You just look so Amazing in everything you wear that it is all just picture perfect. Enjoy your Life!

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    1. Neti, my friend, thank you for always being such a positive force. You rock!

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  2. As a fellow 48 year old, I say bravo to you!
    Dawn Lucy
    http://fashionshouldbefun.blogspot.com

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  3. You do rock the looks! And I love it...I think we should all seek confidence and joy...and do whatever that means for us to find it. It is about what is in our hearts and minds more than anything and it helps me to look in the mirror and feel good about what I am saying with my dress. I am 61 and I have found the last 11 years to be the best time of my life. Freedom and fun!

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    1. I have heard by many that the 60s are marvelous years. The 40s seem to be somewhat different as many women are realizing that their children are moving on and we don't feel as needed. I am in that place...and others. I am looking forward to my future. And I agree, how I feel about myself in my dress is important.

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  4. You look stunning, Glenda. Every single outfit you wear looks fantastic on you and it couldn't have been possible if there was no harmony between your personality and choices you make.
    And from now on I will always say: "I'm xxx years young"! Thank you Glenda for sharig this!!

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    1. You are welcome Mag. Thank you for your lovely words :)

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  5. lovely dress!
    xo,
    yaudy
    http://yaudycristinafashionista.blogspot.com/

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  6. This is so awesome Glenda, and exactly where I am at. I'm 54 this year and already feel very close to 60. At least, close to the horizon. I've recently decided to stop coloring my hair too and also just recently stopped caring so much about what others think of me. I've been suppressed with those thoughts for way too many years. Just a year ago I would never show my bare arms and even hated the skin below my knees showing. Now I truly don't care. Why be uncomfortable? For who?? ;)
    Thanks for sharing your honesty and personal side.

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    1. I am always a little frightened to put my inner thoughts out there for the world to read, but when I do, it touches me to know that there are others who are on the same journey. Symbolically releasing the dye and becoming free with my natural hair is very important for me to move forward in my life. I need to feel free regardless of what others think of me. I know that the subject of letting the silver show is a touchy one for some. But as long as we women continue to conform to the media's idea image of what is considered beautiful, we will always feel bad about ourselves.

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  7. Dear Glenda,
    I fell in love with your blog not only because of your beautiful dresses and skirts. I love to come here (of course to see you) and read what Glenda thinks, what she feels, what she has to tell the world. There are so many people in my life I love from the bottom of my heart who are not young, not beautiful, not rich but they have charme, heart, intelligence, confidence, a very interesting and profound nature, they show me love, loyalty and a huge positive interest in my person.. this all let me forget that they had grey hair, to much weight, if they are bold or anything else because it does not really matter for me in life.
    If you REALLY love a person (or yourself) you will also love every look and every outfit :)

    have a wonderful week dear
    Dana :)
    http://danalovesfashionandmusic.blogspot.de/

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    1. Your words are indeed beautiful Dana, and so is your spirit. My letting go of the hair dye is symbolic of me letting go of the past and embracing my future. It is time for me to move forward.

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  8. That scarf tied around your arm really adds the perfect finishing touch the whole outfit, Glenda! And I agree, we have to do what we do for US and not for anyone else.

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    1. Always doing for others can lead to a very empty person. I believe in helping and loving others, but I also believe that I have to put my oxygen on first :)
      I'm glad you like the arm scarf.

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  9. Very nice outfit. Love the scarf. But even more I like your inner acceptance of aging. I am looking at that road and am hesitating whether I should follow it too. After all 60 is a lot older than 48. So my mirror tells me.
    Greetje

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    1. When I look in the mirror, it is obvious that I have matured. However, my inner sanctum believes otherwise. :)
      Thank you Greetje!

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  10. Sorry for being late but I still am restoring my blog, it's the worst scenario that could happen to a blogger, to any blogger, it takes ages to get everything back but at least it can be done. Thx for your kind words. You look great Glenda
    hugs
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

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  11. Great post! And you rock strapless dresses!

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  12. Not only the fact that you can dress well and have an eye for putting together amazing pieces but your confidence with that is what sells your looks!

    xx Cara
    www.carascliche.com

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    1. Cara, thank you. You are a woman with such great style. This statement coming from you means so very much.

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  13. I love the touch of silver in your hair. I swear that natural hair with a short cut and silver is the epitome of class to me! And I'm such a hypocrite because I still color my hair. LOL! I have locs and my grey is so random and weird I can't stand it. But at 54 I'm more relaxed, confident and comfortable than I've ever been. I think being healthy mentally and physically, having fun, looking good and feeling good, dressing up, or dressing down makes this age great!

    Thanks to Facebook and the blogs I have a ton of girlfriends in their early 40's and even some in their late 30's. Yet I still love being the "big-sister" of the group. I feel like my 50+ years is respected and looked up to by them. I think 50's might be my best decade!

    Pam

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    1. Pam, thank you so much for your comment. I don't have a problem with people who color their hair. But for me, I felt like I was in bondage. Each time I pored that stuff into my own hair, I felt like I wasn't being real. But that is just me. Many, many years ago, I fell in love with the wife of Bill Cosby. Her name is Camille and she had such a lovely short hairdo that was speckled with silver. Now it is completely silver and I think it is amazing. Since then, I have always thought it was such a beautiful and regal statement. So why did I start coloring? Because I was fighting my age and who I am. No more!

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  14. Interesting poignant post.

    I too am 48 and refuse to be defined by my age.

    That said I enjoy having my hair dyed. I don't view it as trying to look younger or older, I just view it as an extension of myself. I'm not trying to compete with younger gals, but I am trying to be the best authentic me I can be.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. Thank you for your comment Suzanne! Each one of us is different and that is what makes us so beautiful. For myself, when I was younger, I always viewed silver hair as beautiful and regal. I only began dying it because I was fighting who I really am emotionally and physically. The simple fact is that I am approaching 50, my hair is silver (regal) and that is a part of my story :)

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  15. Love your hair and the scarf on your arm...great touch. You look lovely and I am so glad to hear you liked visiting San Antonio! If you every come back, let me know and I will treat for lunch!

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    1. Oh wow Pam, that sounds marvelous! Thank you for reaching out :)

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  16. You go girl! I applaud you for embracing your silver hair. I love a full head of silver hair on men and women! Personally, I am hair product junkie and should have been a hair stylist at some point during my life, I love going to the salon, getting color or highlights in the summer and trying different styles, short or long. I just enjoy everything about my hair! It's a treat just like getting my nails done, lol! I look forward following you on your journey, you're such a great inspiration to us seasoned gals!
    xo,
    Monica

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    1. Enjoy being you, Monica! And thank you for the kind words :)

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  17. So funny. I've decided to quit dying my hair too. I haven't seen my natural hair color in years... It's time.

    I also love romantic movies that feature more mature characters, the problem is that there aren't many movies

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    1. You're right, there aren't enough featuring our age group. These types of love stories are always so beautifully written. Have you ever read the Mermaid Chair my Sue Monk Kidd? I love that story.

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  18. You look amazing! You can rock it! Love your outfit!

    http://kacieskloset.blogspot.com/

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  19. There are two kinds of grey hair. The lovely white, silvery grey and the sallow, yellow, gun-metal grey. I have the latter and that's why I dye my hair. It's not about covering up my age - because I'm very open about it - it's about wearing a color that better suits my skin tone. If I had the beautiful shade of grey that you wear oh-so-well I wouldn't hesitate to let it show ;-)

    Alicia
    spashionista.com

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  20. Glenda, I like all of your posts but this one is by far my favorite as you are the epitome of confidence and a great role model. Silver looks good on you!!

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    1. Steph, you flatter me. Thank you my friend. I'm actually enjoying my metallic hair. It's very vogue :)

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  21. Another thought provoking post Glenda! I do see many women on screen who are seasoned and look fabulous and particularly admire Meryl Streep, she is not skinny and looks natural.
    It is what is inside that counts, but how we project ourselves does say lot about us.
    btw, you are rockin that striped dress!
    xx, Elle
    http://mydailycostume.com/

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    1. Yes, Meryl is a constant on the big screen. I just wish there were more representation. Thanks Elle!

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  22. Great post , you are a fabulous woman Glenda !

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    1. Lesley, at times I don't feel so. But thank you very much for saying so :)

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  23. I love you in orange, I think you look totally amazing in it. This dress is fantastic! The scarf around the bicep, how the heck you make it work I don't know, but it does work. I feel a parrot reference when I look at it, but in a good, flamboyant shoulder detail kind of way. Did you do any designing when you were at fash college?

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    1. Hi Kate, thank you for the comment. I really appreciate it! No, my studies at FIDM were on the business side of fashion. I majored in Marketing and Merchandising.

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  24. Glenda, you are a such a wise soul. As one much older(60) I so admire your honest writing about an issue we all can relate to, this journey of self discovery is indeed an ongoing process. Enjoy your silver hair , I am in the mind set to now follow this road too.

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    1. Thank you Jill. I was once told that silver hair = wisdom. My letting go of the dye is just a small but poignant step to stop living my life in the past. I am a more seasoned woman now, and I should let my wisdom show through.

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Thank you for taking the time to comment, it really means a great deal for me to connect with my So What to Twenty friends. I hope you subscribed via email or by social media - I wouldn't want you to miss anything on our True Style journey. Stay True, Glenda