6.20.2014

Are You Shackled (Discussion)?


I wasn't going to post today, but I felt a spark after reading and participating in a post that asked if women over 40 should wear a particular clothing item. I was taken aback to see that almost all of the women, without any reservation, simply said, NO. I, for one, couldn't believe it. Why is age the only driving factor that determines when one should stop wearing particular clothing items? I beg to differ. Without being overly judgmental, I wondered if the women who gave NO as an answer were merely speaking for themselves. I have seen women older than I wearing mid-baring tops that I only dream to wear. Their belly baring tops aren't as extreme as our younger sisters, however, you can still see a peek-a-boo of flesh. They took extreme care of their bodies and have rock-hard abs to boast. Hey, I'm not mad at them. I celebrate their success in their physical accomplishments. Should the fashion police tell them to remove the top because they're now in their 50s? Come on, let's be real.


The simple fact is that unless you go around introducing yourself as such, Hello, my name is Glenda and I'm 48, no one will really know just how old you are. Here is another fact, not all 48 year old women are cut from the same cloth. We each have our own style, essence, lifestyle, body types, etc, etc. So why on earth should we allow age to shackle us into some type of grid that tells us YES on one side and NO on the other. We should not!


(Click to Tweet) As we age, it isn't necessary to give up on certain fashions, but one should simply adapt, or tweak a look to meet YOUR standards. Notice I said YOUR standards. Yes, YOUR standards. Not the standards of what society thinks you should be wearing. If you loved a particular fashion in your 20s and 30s and wish to carry that look into your latter years, then by all means, make it happen. As an example, say you loved wearing neon colors head-to-toe, but now you feel that wearing too much neon would be inappropriate. Here is how you can still rock neon. Treat yourself to a pair of bright colored pumps in yellow and then carry that hue farther by wearing a scarf tied in your hair or around your handbag. Tah Dah! You're still wearing neon, but you tweaked it a bit. Get my point?


So, as we move forward in this season of life, just remember this - Remove the shackles and look in the mirror and say, "I can still rock a look, I am still viable and sexy as hell, so - So What to Twenty!"

Have a free weekend friends{wink}

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Photos by Freddy


54 comments:

  1. I absolutely agree! I think personality and personal taste are far more important than any particular standard of "age appropriateness."

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    1. That's for sure. It feels great to not have that limitation.

      Thank you for your comment!

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  2. You keep rocking it girl!! This is why I keep coming to your blog, for your encouraging and positive vibes for us gals over 40...which by the way, I recently celebrated my 50th birthday and I am enjoying a few trends I didn't think I could pull off. I tweak the trends to fit my style and it works! I love this post so much!! xo
    Monica
    http://glamvolution.blogspot.com

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    1. You are always rocking your look Monica. I am always inspired by your posts!

      Thank you for your comment. Have a great weekend!

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  3. AGREE! Personality, stage in life, and personal taste should govern what you wear, not that number on your driver's license. I'm 54 and I'm sure I don't dress like a 54 year old should...if there is any such thing. LOL I have some friends who can still rock short shorts. Me? I need shorts to be close to the knee. I'm a bright color, 4 inch high heel kinda girl. And at 54 I'm more comfortable, confident and good with me than I've ever been. So glad that I found your blog and a few others who are over 40 and fabulous!!

    Pam

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    1. The age thing baffles me. Are stores suppose to section off the garments in the store according to age...section 30 to 40, section 40 to 50, etc. That doesn't make since.

      Thank you for your comment, Pam!

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  4. Fashion is TOTALLY driven by personal taste, the only time my age restricts me is when it comes to shoes - heels definately out due to bad knees.. but I wear what I want to wear and that's that!! Love your blog....

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    1. Hi Peter Kim and welcome to So What to Twenty! I know a time will come when I will have to lower my 4 inch heels as well. In the meantime I say So What to Twenty! It's good to have you.

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  5. I agree, Glenda and well said! I don't think about my biological age when dressing or shopping, I think only about what I like and what I feel good in. I may impose restrictions on myself if I am not loving a certain body part, but then I did that at twenty too. It's not really about age it's more about my own relationship with my body. If you think about it, the so called rules of what you shouldn't wear over 40 are all just someone else's idea of what looks appropriate. Maybe you have a workplace where you need to be cautious but on your own time why should you follow someone else's rules. I say, wear what you want to!
    xoxo

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    1. Same here Shawna. I don't ever recall shopping with the mind set of considering my age. I buy what I like. Basically, I believe many people make a judgment based on their own personal likes and dislikes (I dont like knee high gladiator sandals, therefore no one should wear them. Or, I wouldnt like myself in those sandals therefore, I dont like anyone in them.

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    2. I like Markina's comment. Should I really wear that? I just turned 60 and I find that some of my go-to styles have started to look wrong. I honestly never thought this would happen. Just you wait. Suddenly A flippy skirt looks too short, lengthen it and it looses its flip. Short sleeve white tees display too much back fat and aging arms. Looser longer sleeved styles just don't look the same. It is infuriating but it is what it is. I still have the same style. I know that I do. But it needs to be rethought. We've all stood behind the woman at the grocery store who is caught in a time warp. Still wearing the shorty shorts that she probably should have retired. I don't believe in "experts" telling us what we should wear at certain ages but I also don't subscribe to wear whatever you want. Those that think it's okay to wear what makes you happy are probably still in their youthful 40's or early 50's. I really don't want to see a bare aging muffin top. Do you? I would love to see a line of clothing that is appropriate for all ages and I'm not talking' Eileen Fisher here. Great subject for discussion Glenda. Thank you!

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    3. Thank you for this Connie. And perhaps my view will change as I continue to age. I don't subscribe completely to wear whatever you want, but I don't believe that age should be the only determining factor. This simple fact that there are many women whom look darn good...heck, better than women in their 20s and 30s. Just because of their age, they shouldn't be told they shouldn't wear a particular look. It is a touchy subject that will be debated time and time again. Regardless, I'm on the side of looking your personal best.

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  6. Glenda! Thank you so much for posting this. As a fashion designer I always tell my client's of all ages not to ask yourself "can i wear this?", but "should i wear this?" By this I mean you can wear anything you want at any age, but you should wear what makes you look and feel fabulous. I believe in a world of nonconformity when it comes to fashion. This applies to age as well as size. If you feel you look and feel fabulous in your outfit, then by all means rock it. Peter Kim from the comment above hit it right on the nail. Fashion should be driven by personal taste,not by society which tries to dictate when and how we should wear our clothing.....
    My vote: Shackle Free Society!!! Woop Woop......

    Smooches!!!!!

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    1. I agree with you Markina. I think what it boils down to is persons making a judgment call by using their own personal likes and dislikes, rather than considering the individual. I may not like something for myself, but it may work for another.

      Also, some just don't know themselves well enough to select clothing specifically for them. They only shop safe. Meaning they let the norms of society tell them what to wear.

      Thanks for the comment!

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  7. Great styles and i agree with you. :-D
    http://blogthebutterfly.wordpress.com/

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  8. Well said Glenda. I agree.

    (Your choices in footwear make my heart beat faster!)

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    1. Ha Susan! I'm glad you like my choices :)

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  9. Great post! I wear what I think flatters me, my personality, body and lifestyle. At this age (late 60's!), I would rather err on the side of looking stylish than looking faded and invisible. That said, I do think we need to take our aging bodies into consideration and realize that certain clothes just look like you are trying too hard to look young.
    I also want to say, Glenda, that you always look so terrific in your photos and have such beautiful posture and grace.

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    1. Rebecca, thank you so much. It was nice to wake and read your sweet words.

      And I agree, we should take our bodies into consideration and tweak a look ;)

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  10. Glenda I couldn't agree more! I think style is more about your inner confidence rather than what the media or everybody else things is the 'norm'. How BORING! In fact I've just removed my age (40) from the home page of my blog. I don't think to myself is this age appropriate I think more about whether something suits me and my own shape, and that I feel confident. I also seem to get lots of likes on Insta in particular from ladies of all ages - many of whom look LOADS younger than me and probably haven't got a clue how old I am. In fact I just won a photo shoot in London with a young London based designer. I even double checked with her that I was 40 before I went along and she just laughed. Age is just a number or as my (older ) husband always says ... 'you are only as young as the woman you feel' ;-) xxx

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    1. Absolutely Keri. Confidence is needed. The age thing is totally ridiculous. Who would tell Halle Barry that she can't wear this or that. She is 48 and looks AMAZING. And I agree also with removing the age. Who Cares...right? We make it more of an issue than our younger counterparts. They could care less how old we are.

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  11. Brilliant, Glenda! I totally agree. I will even say that - I was much more conservative in my 20s. Honestly. Feminine and tasteful, and stylish, but conservative lady-like outfits - I so wanted to be taken seriously and "grow up", I suppose. I gained much more freedom now when I am in my "baby 40s" (41 to be exact). I try new things which I did not even consider before... all the time.

    And one more thing. In my native culture, a lot of women start limiting themselves... as soon as the clock hits 30. That's so sad and it blows my mind - why would anyone at any point of their loves give up a freedom to just be who they want to be, and wear what they want to wear, and just be free?

    Love your articles and your wonderful spirit!

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    1. I believe that Busola hit the nail on the head when she said that Confidence is what is needed to pull off looks. Perhaps women who are shackled by age lack the confidence.

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  12. I don't see age in fashion. Comfort, fit and great styling is what makes a look and that applies to every age. Very impressive post and i am with you. Wear what you like and own it- C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.C.E

    Enjoy your weekend Glenda :)

    Sweet GIVEAWAY on the blog if you are interested!!

    http://www.thefashionstirfry.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Busola! I'll come by to see the give away. And yes Confidence makes a world of difference.

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  13. I absolutely agree with you Glenda and I for myself give a damn about such things. I think it's none of their business what I wear or what anyone else wears. Like Busola said Wear what you like and own it. The only thing that really matters is that YOU feel good. And that has nothing to do with age. When I want to rock a mini when I'm sixty so what? Hello it's up to me and believe me Glenda I will rock a mini when I am sixty. Happy Weekend darling.
    hugs
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

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    1. If I have legs like Tina Turner I may rock a mini in my sixties too. However, I believe it's doubtful since I don't have legs like her now. I may have to lower my hem...just a tad ;)

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  14. Hello! I had to ponder on this for a few and yes, as I approach 43 on this Tuesday, I do feel like a certain look is in order. I tend to be more modest any way and feel like my shorts should be a little longer, etc. I work out, run regularly and feel confident to wear most items of clothing, but still want to be appropriate and comfortable in my own skin. I recently big chopped my hair for the 3rd time and totally thought of you...it's Glendaesque! lol Thanks for always providing wonderful, stylish, thought provoking content.

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    1. Happy Birthday Shon!! And thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the blog.

      So you cut the hair. Truthfully, I love rocking the short natural. I cut my shoulder length hair off 16 years ago and never regretted it.

      I understand what you mean about dressing appropriately. For this discussion, I'm assuming that we all do dress in that way. The question that was asked was should women over 40 wear knee high gladiator sandals. Which I think can be worn by many. All the woman, but myself said No.

      I agree with you about being comfortable in your own skin.

      Delete
    2. Ah ha, yes of course I think women over 40 could rock Gladiator sandals!! Thanks for the birthday wishes.

      Delete
  15. Glenda,
    To be stylish and relevant.....you are both . I am glad you asked this question, and I think you will know my answer from my posts .. I think women should wear what they feel reflects their personality , or is fun or comfortable to wear. To be shackled by fashion dogma, or age nonsense is silly.
    I do feel that good judgement is a fine thing, and I think a couple of rules are good, like shorts shoud not be so short, but I don't see where that applies to age.
    You always look on trend but authentic, and these photos today just prove that point.
    You wear leather and edgy shoes with aplomb and confidence, that is sexy and smart.
    Loved this thoughtful post .
    XX, Elle
    http://mydailycostume.com

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    1. Thank you Elle!

      Of course there are certain "rules" of good taste that should be followed. But then again, what is good taste? Hmm, I think I feel another topic of discussion.

      And you always look brilliant in your ensembles, Elle!

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  16. At 52 I always laugh at those articles because age is just a number. I know my body and what I can and cannot wear and if it works for me, who is to say that I am too old to wear it. Great post - have a wonderful weekend.

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    1. And that is key Antionette, you know yourself!

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  17. I agree with you Glenda 100%! And good taste is the key here. I have seen many girls in their 20s looking unnatural in their clothes the same as mature women trying to look like they were still 20. If I don't feel natural and comfortable in some clothes I don't wear them. This is the simple rule that works for me.

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    1. And another thought provoking topic...What is good taste?

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  18. Great post as always Glenda. I totally agree with you that if you know what works for you, go with it but there are times when I see outfits on my grocery runs and I shake my head.:0. Some have even given me nightmares lol.

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    1. I get what you're saying, Elsie. That's when the tweaking comes into play. We have to know when it's time to make adjustments.

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  19. I totally agree with you, Glenda. Fashion has no age. Everyone should just wear whatever they feel good in and what they feel makes them feel confident. I'm very much pro creative expression through looks and fashion, so I'd never say that above a certain age it's 'wrong' to wear a certain clothing item.

    P.S.: You look SO fierce in all these pics, love every single look.

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Melissa. I do believe that there are certain stages in life that certain items need to be tweaked so that one won't look ridiculous. Sometimes when we try to look young, it actually ages us.

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  20. OK, here I come with a critical note. I think I am the only one.
    For me, not having much clue of styling, some guidance, some "rules" are good.
    Essentially I agree with what you are saying. But having little clue what I can or cannot wear, I might be putting on cut off jeans shorts, a cropped top in neon orange and biker boots. Now, some older women might get away with that, but I can tell you... this 60 year old woman would look so stupid, needy and pathetic in it.
    I needed a little guidance when I was younger (as I had no taste) and I need some guidance as I am getting older (as I have no styling clue). I just don't want to look pathetic.
    Greetje

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    1. Hi Greetje, thank you for your comment. I understand how you may feel about your abilities. Though I don't have them in fashion, there are plenty of other territories that I can be deemed pathetic in my abilities. And like you, because I may not know my way in that territory, I seek the advice of those who know the way. Here's the thing, the more I delve into that particular thing, the more I discover that I'm not so pathetic after all.

      Though I understand limitation in fashions as we mature because it may cross the unspoken rule of good taste, I don't understand when "Age" alone is the determining factor. It shouldn't be. There are too many other things that should determine whether or not we purchase a particular fashion...Does it suit my lifestyle? Does the shape fit my physique? etc, etc. Often times I have discovered that people who reject a certain look or style, do so because they don't like the look for themselves and therefore no one will look good in it. Or, they wish they could pull it off and perhaps know that they couldn't. There are many reasons why people project there opinions onto another. Often times I believe the use of age is an excuse.

      I truly believe that the journey into discovering your personal style begins from within.

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    2. I love your reply to this. I agree that so many people automatically assume that they cannot wear something because they read somewhere that people over a certain age shouldn't. Yet, maybe they still have killer legs and a hot body and would look fabulous in it despite their age. Knowing your body and your confidence level with your body is much more important than knowing your age when it comes to dressing.

      bisous
      Suzanne
      www.suzannecarillo.com

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    3. Thank you Suzanne. I truly believe that CONFIDENCE is the key to this entire discussion.

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  21. Thanks for this post. As you know, I vote for women Living their best life whatever that maybe. - ME: I am still viable and SEXY as hell and determined to wear what I like! I will NOT wear a crop top & cut off shorts because I do not like the styles for me, not because I am 62. Rock on my dear. . . . .

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  22. For this topic, I thank you, thank you thanky you Glenda!!!
    How many times have I tried to explain. Could never find the right words and to bring it to the point like you and do not forget to watch this topic from all the different directions. I think exactly like you and I can sign it word for word.
    If you do not mind, I'd love to embed this post on my blog so that other women can benefit from these great texts. Well done! :)

    have a wonderful week
    Dana :)
    http://danalovesfashionandmusic.blogspot.de/

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    1. Yes, please, by all means share it. I'm so interested in what others think on this subject. Thanks Dana!

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  23. I agree completely! And, you look fabulous!

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  24. So well said, dear Glenda!! My husband and I don't have children, which means that our lifestyle hasn't really changed at all since we were in our twenties...why the heck would/should we dress "older" when we don't live an "older" life?!

    www.StyleIsMyPudding.com

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Thank you for taking the time to comment, it really means a great deal for me to connect with my So What to Twenty friends. I hope you subscribed via email or by social media - I wouldn't want you to miss anything on our True Style journey. Stay True, Glenda